The Monitor is no longer the arch enemy of my creativity

When I think of the elements of me as characters in a play, and step outside of me to watch them interact, I gain insights that can lead to greater levels of internal freedom. After writing The Monitor (see blog post dated 11/8/09), I realized that looking at The Monitor as a character would help me understand my tendency to seize up when I write - especially when I write something that the public will read and then judge.

I started out asking myself: "If The Monitor is a character, who else is on stage?" The voice who is telling on The Monitor in that blog post is The Creative One. the Creative One is frustrated and wanting The Monitor to be still and hold off expressing judgement or opinion until The Creative One has had the opportunity to fully express.

The Monitor is not without value, as that aspect of me is needed to partner with The Creative One to refine my work. The Creative One has trouble seeing this value due to the frustration of having her hands tied.

By stepping back like this, the healing questions that naturally emerge are: Why is The Monitor so harsh? Why does it feel like so much is at risk? When I could identify who The Monitor sounded like and what fears underlie The Monitor's intensity, a new character in the play emerged, The Nurturing One, to affirm The Monitor's value and help it take a life-giving place.

Through the partnership that developed between The Monitor and The Creative One, the integration that has taken place between the two has greatly reduced my tendency to seize up when I wield the pen.

Being able to see The Monitor from the outside looking in so to speak, has made it possible to not only see The Monitor's value and remove its status as arch enemy, but to help calm the anxiety and fear The Monitor tends to hold.

Susan

Copyright 2010 Susan Skommesa. All Rights Reserved.